There's been a lot going on around Casa Staring lately. Revisions being made, to-do's being checked off the never-ending list, vet appointments...

The kitten of mass destruction is healthy, don't you worry. He's currently under the bed, refusing to speak to anyone about what happened during his physical. Poor Zaphod!

And I've also been judging some writing contests. It's a great way to learn about the craft of writing when you see writers do it well and not so well.

No, I'm not naming names (or titles). And I'm not going to get up on a soapbox and say that heroes who play the accordion while channelling the spirits of dead aliens aren't intriguing (and that's just off the top of my head, feel free to use it if you want to), I just want to point out one thing:

When you tell your story, let a reader know why she/he should care.

I'm not trying to be facetious or mean-spirited here. It's just that, sometimes, a writer gets so involved with putting those words on the page, she/he can forget to add those little glimpses into a character's psyche that reveal what makes them special.

You know, like the villain who hates lime Jell-O. Or the heroine who brings dental floss to a gunfight. Or something a little deeper than the water left on the counter at a public restroom.

It's kind of like why I'm happily watching this season of Glee despite the lack of plot. All the characters are quirky, fun and have their fair share of teen angst struggles, and I care about what happens to them. Would I feel the same way if Season 1 never happened? I'm not sure.

How about you? What's a must-have for you to keep reading past page one?

Labels: contests, ideas, kitten, writing

June has been a month filled with ups and downs. And I'm not just talking about elevators or my recent girls' getaway to San Francisco. ;)

I've been quiet because you really didn't need to know what was going on in Bonnieland. One day I'll look back upon late May/early June as a time when I needed to "shop at the perspective store," as DH so lovingly told me.

Yes, he's still alive.

What really helped was a tour of Alcatraz, truth be told. I stood and peered into each small cell and thought about how good I had it. Sure, the inmates had a bed and three square meals a day, but they had little else.

Not even a kitten of mass destruction (who greeted me with poop at the door upon my return).

And while last week I'd been fully prepared to peel the face off a perfect stranger because she couldn't put her shopping cart to the side like you're supposed to, now I'm feeling less dangerous.

Here's why:

1. I spent four days being a tourist in an incredibly fun city with Laura, my incredibly fun friend from college. Rode the hop-on/hop-off tour bus as if it were the best thing since Jell-O. Then we switched to the trolley cars. My arms and legs still hurt from all the hanging on for dear life.

2. I attended a local writer's group meeting (not one that I belong to) and instead of being treated like a welcome guest, my friends and I got the stink eye, a few shushes, and discontented murmur's when a few of us won raffle items. Little did we know we weren't their type of people. It's okay; the feeling is mutual. ;) Made me appreciate my writing group a whole lot more.

3. As much as it drives me nuts, I actually enjoy what I do for a living. There are a lot of people who can't say that, so I count myself lucky. And no, I'm not talking about my go-go dancing career. :)

4. The notes from my beta reader on the novel that almost killed me aren't that bad. Yeah, I have a ton of work to do, but it'll make for a much stronger story. Looks like I'll have to pick up more index cards. Maybe colourful ones! I heart shopping for office supplies!

5. I have the best husband in the world. Even if he snores louder than my grandmother.

What about you? What makes you appreciate what you have?

Labels: adventures, ideas, kitten, writing

I don't need to have an iPhone or iPad to have a good time.

Instead of being attached to a phone playing games, figuring out who performs that song on the radio or using something productive like a GPS or weather-forecasting app, I do things differently.

There's a nap for that.

Shazam Nap
This usually happens once I finally figure out the name and artist of a song I couldn't get out of my head and then play it on YouTube about forty times. Sometimes dancing is involved.

Transit Nap
When I get a seat on the subway, I close my eyes and magically wake up one stop before my station.

GeoCatch Nap
While taking the kitten of mass destruction outside for walkies, we both find a cool place in the shade and catch some z's.

Reality Nap
Sometimes the auditions on So You Think You Can Dance or the horrors of Hoarders and The Real Housewives of Anywhere just aren't worthy of my consciousness.

Pocket Cocktails Nap
This should go without saying, but after imbibing on a few cocktails, whether or not they came from my pocket, I usually need to catch a few winks.

Lightsaber Nap
After playing Star Wars with the kitten of mass destruction, which usually involves the two of us fighting over a cardboard tube and then me talking into it and telling him I'm his father, both of us need a nap. And an oxygen tank.

Sure, the App Store may have 200,000 apps, but I've had 200,000 naps. Beat that, Steve Jobs!

Don't call me; it's time for my Post-Blog Post Nap.

Labels: fun, ideas, kitten

WMBS. It's an acronym my friend JJLB came up with the other day. It stands for Well Meaning But Stupid people.

We all have them in our lives, and sometimes (gasp!) we are them. Not sure if your actions cross over from well meaning to WMBS? Take this wee test:

1. Your friend is on a diet and having a bad day. You:
A) Send her videos of cute kittens, knowing that she likes them.
B) Send over your friend Raphael, your next-door neighbour who just happens to be a massage artist.
C) Bring over four-dozen chocolate cupcakes.

2. You've been bad about responding to a friend's emails and she asks which method is the best way to contact you. You:
A) Tell her to call you instead -- that way she can talk to your kitten, too!
B) Pick up the phone and call her, and apologize for being such a sloth when it comes to emailing.
C) Insist that email is the best way.

3. A friend asks you for help. You:
A) Ask what she needs, and ask if the kitten can help, too.
B) Tell her you'll do anything for her. And so will Raphael.
C) Offer to do something that's already been done.

4. You see a person approaching a door who has her hands full. You:
A) Hold back your kitten so he doesn't accidently chew the woman's legs off.
B) Hold open the door and offer to puch the elevator button for her.
C) Ask her if she'd like to purchase a box of Girl Scout cookies.

5. You see a homeless person on the street. You:
A) Give him some spare change and tell him about your pet kitten.
B) Buy him a sandwich or a coffee.
C) Ask if he has change for a twenty.

Okay, now tally up your scores.

Mostly As
You are a crazy cat person. Stop forwarding all the cute kitten videos to people who don't have cats -- they don't deserve it or understand it. Save it for your other cat-crazy friends. And don't volunteer your kitten to assist with anything. Your purrfect loved one is way too bizay to help a human.

Mostly Bs
You are a well-meaning person who goes that extra mile or volunteers other well-meaning people who happen to be masseurs to assist when things get bent out of shape.

Mostly Cs
I'm afraid you may be suffering from a case of WMBS. And that's okay. It happens to the best of us. You've got good intentions, but they get lost in the delivery. Now that you're aware of the problem, you can take the three cupcakes left over to the homeless guy. And throw in a box of Girl Scout cookies. ;)

And, for some strange reason, I've been listening to Weird Al's "I Bought It On eBay" while I wrote this. Here's the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKtlK7sn0JQ

Labels: fun, ideas, kitten, parodies

The subway broke for some reason today. Only for a little while though, and long enough for the fuzzy unintelligible updates to stain my Madonna listening experience.

"Gonna dress you up in--"
"Attention all subway passengers, we are munamuna blah blah St. George Station waffle waffle munamuna. Shuttle bus whawhawha platform blah blah."
"From your head down to your--"
"The delay we hodgepodge oogle blah blah munamuna shortly. Thank you."

Yeah, I lost my groove by the fourth subway stop. Le sigh. At least the problem resolved itself while Madonna went through five more tracks. Shoo-be-do-be-do...

Then a woman yelled at me because I stopped at the curb. She actually tried to push me forward, but then held off when the car I'd seen approaching sped around the corner.

Her words: "Oh."
My words: "Next time someone isn't moving fast enough for you, go around them instead of pushing them into traffic."

And I hadn't even gotten to the office yet. Someone had colored my day in with a thick black crayon. They didn't even try and cover up the bits that went outside the lines and dipped into all my happy spots.

An innocent colleague sent me .docx files all day. I'm on a Mac for this particular gig. Le sigh.

Feedback on an article made it look like my words were bleeding. Gotta love track changes. ;)

But then, I thought about how I lucky I am to have a happy home, a happy husband and a kitten of mass destruction who has been known to be happy on some occasions.

Leaving the stress of the subway, the near-accident, and the evils of my workload behind me, I raced up the front porch to burst through the front door and greet my happy family...

And stepped in cat poop.

Apparently this was not a good day for kittens either.

Labels: adventures, blahs, kitten

I love it when I can make a connection while killing things.

DH and I finally caved and plucked out all the pesky dandelions, raked up the five gazillion maple keys, and ran the mower over what remained of the grass. The kitten was quite impressed, as his favourite cement patch was still where he left it despite all the noise and fuss the humans made.

And all that yanking and pulling got me thinking.

First, that I was out of shape again. But we know that already, so I'll move on.

Then there are those who actually cultivate dandelions to make wine or eat the leaves in fancy chichi salads. They even brag about how organic they are, using natural ingredients from within that oh-so-righteous 100-mile radius.

I could get all the dandelions I want in a ten-yard radius. Huh.

And that made me feel like maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty with my destruction of the dandelions. Maybe I should have rented out my yards for organic dandelion farming. Zaphod the kitten could be the Chief Inspector.

Actually, he already has that title. You should see his business cards.

Then I thought about the things I do that act like weeds on my productivity: watching retro '80s videos on YouTube, cute kitten pics and vids, reality TV, chocolate, pondering my existence, writing things I've already done onto my to-do list so I can cross them off, etc., etc.

All these thoughts about weeding these things from my garden of to-dos takes all the fun out of everything. It turns me into Little Miss Crankipants. Or Little Miss Big Crankipants since I haven't been working out. ;)

But maybe, just maybe, everyone needs some weeds in amongst the plants. You know, just to keep things interesting and give us something to do when we don't feel like being perfect.

Is this starting to sound like an ad for medicinal marijuana? LOL Yep, there goes Bonnie, promoting de herb again...

All I know is I need to feed my mental garden with the good, the bad and the ugly or else I get bored.

How about you? Do you need "weeds"?

Labels: blahs, ideas, kitten

May swept in without the need for a raincoat, and now we have the heat back on. What's up with that?

Labels: adventures, goals, ideas, kitten

Of course, now I have the strains of that Thin Lizzy song echoing in my head. I may have to listen to "Shake Your Groove Thing" a few times to shake it.

April has been a busy month already, with nearly 4,000 additional words on the WIP (my daily average hovers at around 500, so I'm verra, verra happy) and there is a wee light at the end of the tunnel.

It could also be that we're having some fantabulous weather, which means we can keep the windows open and the Kitten of Mass Destruction can enjoy fresh air with his sunbeams.

Now I know what you're thinking: waiting for the muse can be a dangerous thing. Even more dangerous than hang gliding over a volcano, or taking part in a yodel-till-the-death tournament. After all, once I land that forty-book contract (chuckles), I'll need to keep my nose to the grindstone and my butt in the chair, no matter what the muse says or doesn't say.

But spring is the time for renewal, for new beginnings, and, perhaps, finally getting those older projects finally freaking done. ;)

Now if I could keep up my current pace, this book might actually get done.

Cue the disbelieving kitten:

Labels: ideas, kitten, writing

Poor Zaphod.

He enjoys going outside when it's not too cold, especially when there's no snow on the ground.

But it's been raining. A lot.

So he's been kind of grumpy. And, like any loving cat, he's been taking it out on the people he allows to live with him.

The wishbone DH and I were letting dry out on the counter? Snapped in two pieces. We assume Zaphod got his wish. ;)

The black pants hanging to dry in the laundry room? In a fur-covered lump.

The blue snuggie in front of the TV? Still his favourite spot.


Thank goodness the upcoming forecast is clear...

Labels: kitten

It's been a rough week over here at Casa Staring.

First, I went away on a wee trip to NYC with my mom for educational purposes (we studied shopping, bargain-hunting and how to ride the subway without ending up in Jersey). Then, while I was away, DH took Zaphod, the kitten of mass destruction, to the VET.

And he had to get a shot.

So, I returned home to find a twitching, hiding cat instead of our usual escape artist. He spent the entire weekend under the bed, stepping out from the darkness only to eat or use the litter box.

I felt so freaking guilty. I tried lying on the floor and talking to him.

He hissed.

I tried playing him the Fame soundtrack.

He growled.

Then, taking DH's advice, I ignored him.

It took four days for the ice around his feline heart to thaw. Of course, he's still giving me the stink eye when he thinks I'm not looking. But at least he's talking again. Really, really loud.

Of course, my becoming a crazy cat lady isn't really a significant event. Not when we've got H1N1 vaccine issues, politicians dancing and leftover Halloween candy everywhere. Le sigh.

And it's times like this, when the nights get dark in about twenty seconds, that I realize I live in a city where winter involves freezing temperatures and that other four-letter word, snow.

I wonder how Zaphod feels about wintering in Bermuda... I know DH is into it. ;)

Labels: adventures, blahs, kitten

The WIP that should be done by now and I are having some issues. Not only should it be done (yeah, define "done" LOL), but it should be simmering with a nice, tidy synopsis, preparing for the great agent hunt.

But it's not. And there's no stinkin' synopsis yet. The "THE END" is a little further off than I realized. Like about five gazillion miles.

Or I could just be overthinking things, which tends to happen when I spend way too much time alone with Zaphod the kitten.

If only the little guy could edit for me, it would be so much easier. ;)

So I took a Hugh Jackman break today (blame Michelle) and went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Yes, I went and paid money to see a film I could have downloaded from the Internet. Forgive me for being someone who enjoys sitting in a theatre (well, one that's free of people on cellphones) and eating bad-for-you butter-covered popcorn while watching bare-chested men prance about onscreen.

Okay, there wasn't all that much prancing, but it was nice seeing Hugh in front of a backdrop of exploding things. It really brought out his features.

And, as someone not too familiar with all things X-Men, I enjoyed it. It did feel kind of long, though, and Hugh's hair was the exact same length throughout the film, even when he was in the military.

Yeah, that bugged me. It really shouldn't have, but it was on my mind as I watched Hugh slice and dice some enemies. Le sigh.

While the film distracted me from my evil crankiness of doom, I still had to come back home to the WIP. An intervention is scheduled for tomorrow. A trip to the Dr. Phil house may be in order. I'll keep you posted.

How about you? Did you find Hugh's hair distracting in X-Men Origins: Wolverine?

Labels: adventures, ideas, kitten, writing

Things have been a little sparse here in BonnieLand, and it may continue for while longer before I get back to posting more often.

My excuse? I can no longer multi-task worth a damn -- and haven't even been able to check out all the cool blogs I normally visit. Right now I'm finding out what's going on by talking to people or emailing.

Talking? Emailing? Next thing you know, I'll be sending letters by mail again. ;)

DH and I are also planning some getaway time -- together -- and we're feeling all angsty about leaving poor Zaphod back at home with our friends coming in to feed him. I know, we're being totally irrational and it will be way harder for us than our kitten, but we can't help ourselves.

He's probably just waiting for us to finalize the dates so he can contact his party planner.

And it's actually nice outside (well, nice is relative, since they're calling for snow tomorrow). Stuff is growing in the garden and it looks like we need to decide if we should seed the lawn or just pave over it and rent it out for parking space.

But then where would the hammock and inflatable pool go?



I'm also working like an overzealous limbo dancer as my deadline of April 12 approaches for my WIP rework. It's gonna get done, but with about 120 pages to go, it won't be pretty. Hopefully it will be in English. LOL

What are your big plans for April?

Labels: blahs, goals, kitten

I hate to say it, but I'm feeling blogged down lately.

And it appears I'm not the only one out there. Maybe it's because I'm finally getting some solid work on the WIP and the gazillion other writing projects on my plate. Or I could just not have much to say that doesn't sound like I'm getting all cranky over nothing.

Oh, but I do have something to go on and on about: the kitten.

Zaphod is totally enjoying the arrival of spring. When he's not at the window, following the activities of birds or those evil squirrels, he's at the front door, waiting to be put into his harness.

Yes, Zaphod has fully accepted the harness and doesn't struggle too much when we put it on him. Perhaps that's because he gets to go for walkies and explore all over our front yard, driveway, backyard, the neighbour's yard (she has a nice patio) and try to squeeze in the gap under our front steps.

And he does it all while looking terribly handsome.

It appears that Zaphod's main goal when he gets outside is to cover himself with bits. This is easily accomplished by lying down near broken sidewalk paths or gravel and rolling a bit. He's very good at it.

He also practices his poses in case Tyra Banks drops by when she's casting for America's Next Top Housecat. Look at those eyes! He's waay fierce.

And, of course, all this rolling, hunting and posing does leave a poor kitten exhausted.

Can't wait until we get the hammock set up in the backyard this summer -- I know one member of this household who'll get plenty of use out of it!

Labels: adventures, blahs, kitten

In Ontario, we have a holiday in February called Family Day. I think it means we're supposed to spend more time with our families since all the malls are closed. ;)

As a freelancer, it's not really a holiday for me, but DH, Zaphod the cat and I all spent some quality time together between the laundry and Dr. Phil. And we will again watching 24 and Heroes. Actually, the cat gets kind of cranky during 24 with all the gunshots and shouting. Hmm, the same applies to Heroes as well, go figure.

But the best part of Family Day was taking Zaphod for his first outdoor walk of 2009. Yes, we have an indoor cat, but he comes from a feral family (he was an abandoned runt of the litter) and longs to go outside. He tells us this by meowling (a cross between a howl and a meow) at the door until someone with opposable thumbs gets the hint.

We even have a harness and a leash for him. No, he doesn't like it, but those are the rules.

My poor kitten isn't the same size as he was back in October. That's because he's finally fully grown. When I tried to put the harness on, one of the straps didn't reach. At all. I had to extend it to the longest setting, and then I asked Zaphod to exhale as I did up the latch.

We'll have to hook him up with a medium-sized harness when the stores are open tomorrow.

Even if he was feeling self-conscious about his weight gain, he didn't seem to care as he bolted out the front door and immediately rolled around on the porch, the sidewalk, the driveway and chased a squirrel up a tree.



For him, life is good. Now I just have to find him before he leaves little bits of dirt all over the place.

Labels: adventures, fun, kitten

Today was a much less stressful day, and I think that's because I spent most of it getting words on the page. Completely rewriting a manuscript isn't up there on my fun list of things to do, but it is on my "has to be done to give this my best shot" list. And I decided not to fight it today.

I also spent a little bit of time with Eclipse (the third book in the Twilight series). I'll be honest, when I first started reading the book, I could have sworn that I had already read it. It just seemed all too familiar.

But then Jacob appeared, all 6'7" feet of him, and I knew things were verra, verra different. I'll leave it at that to avoid the spoilers.

Speaking of spoilers, doesn't this look like fun?

Labels: kitten, writing

This Christmas was so unlike the others that have come before it, it took me a while to figure out what made everything seem so effortless and tasty. The turkey was moist and delish, the dining room was relatively clutter-free and all the gifts, though purchased over the course of a few months, were easily located and wrapped.

Okay, there was the trouble with the ultra-cheap "foil but more like cling-wrap" dollar-store paper, but at least we had lots of tape. We'll save the environment next month, we promise!

Seriously though, not once did I attempt to kill DH during holiday preparations. This is huge for me, as normally he goes through about 17 lives before it's time to carve the turkey.

I think I finally figured out the key to successfully beating holiday stress: enjoying the moment instead of worrying about how it will all turn out. ;)

Mom did an awesome job by bringing over all of the vegetables, so all DH and I had to do was the bird and stuffing. And Mum brought over mixed nuts for nibbling and sticky toffee pudding for dessert. The fathers did their part by eating as much as possible and refilling wine glasses when necessary.

Yeah, a trip to the gym was definitely in order. (And finally accomplished yesterday; the elliptical machine and I are not friends.) Mum also brought over the best Christmas crackers ever -- the little prizes were top quality and most of the jokes made us laugh!

Oh yes, hilarity ensued as we each donned paper hats and noshed on 500-calorie dessert. ;)

Zaphod, bless his little purring heart, even stayed off the dining room table most of the time. Well, he did sneak onto the table between dinner and dessert to nestle among the wine bottles, but he did place himself on a napkin.

The poor kitten waited patiently until all the dishes and other dinner-related items were removed before claiming the spot he's sorely missed since we turned the table into a wrapping station in mid-December.



And no, I haven't moved any of the clutter back into the dining room yet. My wee goal before the turn of the year is to send some of that stuff packing so that there's room for the new stuff that arrived on Christmas Day.

Then I'll take a stab at my goals for 2009.

Labels: adventures, fun, kitten

Last year, my mother gave Zaphod a zebra finger puppet for Christmas. We think it's because the zebra went with his fur and Mom just loves to accessorize people, places and things. Both he and the zebra also have names that start with z, so it makes perfect sense. Well, to Mom and I anyway.

And, wouldn't you know, our cat loves his little zebra. He carries it up and down the stairs and keeps it next to him when he's sleeping. It's very cute and makes it hard to resist taking candid photos of them together.

Oh come on, how can you resist such a massive dose of cuteness? Doesn't it just make you believe that when you wish upon a star your dreams will come true and Santa really does plan on bringing over a chocolate fountain along with the members of Boney M? Oh, not to cover them with chocolate though, that would be freaky. We'd just want the band to sing some tunes for our post-zebra-hunting par-tay.

Yeah, I'm a crazy cat lady and proud of it.

Labels: kitten

There is a lot of stuff going on in BonnieLand right now, and some of it actually has to do with the holidays! So I'm gonna keep this short so that I can rush around and find which excuse I've been using the most lately. There are too many to choose from right now.

Labels: blahs, kitten

Ugh. It's a "zombie gotz mah brains" kind of week. I blame it on the full workload, NaNo (over 10K words now) and a bunch of cool events happening when not working for the wo-man (moi) or the manuscript.

And at some of these events, loot bags are involved. Yippee!

Now this is normally the time when I start to whine and complain that I don't have any time for myself to relax or to simply sit back and listen to retro '80s tunes because I'm so darn busy, but I'm not gonna.

Why? Because my choices brought me to this place. It's all that "be careful what you wish for" stuff giving me a hefty kick in the rear. And somehow, it all works. Just like it does with this little fella.

Labels: adventures, ideas, kitten

I've been on three trips this year and for the life of me I've lost track of all my photos. While I have vivid recollections of downloading the images off my camera, I can't find them.

And, yeah, it's kind of embarrassing. Especially when you've described some of said images to friends and family, and now they want to see them.

So, instead of freaking out, I'm just gonna chill -- and hope that the DH can find them. In the meantime, here's a picture of Zaphod, who is currently in ninja mode, hiding at the top of the stairs waiting for his next victim.

Labels: adventures, kitten