I know, I know, I've been quiet. My apologies. But I was asked to perform this week. No foolin'.

It was for the role of an eager job applicant for a position I didn't want. Sound familiar? Yeah, I've mastered the motivation for this character in scenes played too many times. Here's how it started:

Headhunter: Bonnie, great news! There's an opportunity for a job you don't want in an industry you've told us time and time again you have no interest in.

Bonnie: Perfect! Is it at least an hour away from home?

Headhunter: Even better, it's rarely serviced by public transit.

Bonnie: Awesome, send them my info.

Headhunter: Already taken care of, but there's a wee catch.

Bonnie: You know I'm willing to do just about anything for the wrong opportunity.

Headhunter: Well, okay. They want you to take a few tests. You can do them online and everything.

Bonnie: Cool, I love technology. What kind of tests are they?

Headhunter: The first one is a little tricky. It's a personality test.

Bonnie: Bring on the fun!

Headhunter: Now that's the problem. We don't think you'll qualify if you answer truthfully, so why don't you use those acting skills of yours?

Bonnie: Wait a minute, are you asking me to lie even more than I am already?

Headhunter: No, no! Just, bend the truth a little.

Bonnie: Like the way you have by telling these people that I actually want to work for them?

Headhunter: Exactly!

So I went online and ended up taking two tests over the course of an hour. They were all multiple choice ones with easy and not-so-easy choices. But I didn't follow the headhunter's instructions and I answered them all honestly. Tee hee.

We'll just have to see what happens on Monday.

In the meantime, I'm proofing a 250-page course calendar for a business training school. If I see the words strategic, empower, bottom-line or succeed one more time, I'm going to have to add in some Bonequa terms. "Be sure to axe my peeps 'bout our group specials, uh huh."

There is one gem from a business writing course that I've stolen and I'll put it on a T-shirt as soon as I can:

Bad grammar is like bad breath - people may not tell you about it, but they do notice.