The Worst Writing Advice Ever
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I'm not talking about the Penguins of Panic who want to make sure that you never write another word again. Here's to hoping that global warming will keep those negative voices at bay. ;)
What I'm referring to is truly horrible advice that someone thought was a really good idea at the time. It's the stuff that normally comes forth when you're meeting people for the first time and you've followed Tip #1 in The Worst Writing Advice Ever!:
TIP #1: Tell people you want to be a writer. Claiming that you are a writer without a book deal or receiving an income of at least $100,000 will curse you and ensure that you never sell anything.
Telling people that you "want to be" a writer is your invitation to bring forth all of the butt-ugly-stupid notions people have ever had about a craft of which they possess no real knowledge. Sure, they might have a friend-of-a-friend or may have even purchased a book at one time or another, but what do they know?
It's best to get their advice at parties and networking functions. That way there are snacks and bevvies for all.
Do not begrudge your adviser. These purveyors of erroneous tips might have been drinking, suffering from nicotine withdrawal or dealing with some severe hygiene issues, but they felt the need to pass on their own words of wisdom.
Here are just a few of the ones that you'll learn about in the book:
TIP #8: You need good boots if you attend a writing boot camp.
TIP #51: If you have a really good idea, you're lying to yourself because everything's already been done. Best to stick to the lame ones. They're easier.
TIP #14: Having a last name that starts with A, B or C will help you sell more books, because people get tired by the time they get to those D-names.
And the ever-popular:
TIP #79: You should write Harry Potter or something like that.
Don't let another day pass without having your very own copy of The Worst Writing Advice Ever! Over 79 tips! Most even in English! It can be yours today for just $49.99.
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