Dear Bonnie Staring,

Thank you for your interest in The Place You Didn't Want to Work At.

We appreciate the time you have invested in pursuing opportunities with us.

Based on the assessment results, you will not be moving forward in the process for the position listed below:

Position Applied for: Total Loser

Phew! Glad that's over with. Now I can get on with my life. For a moment there I thought my honesty might have gotten me through to the next level. Good thing these online questionnaire things are there to keep fun, spirited people like me out of corporate Canada.

Too bad, I heard the next tests involved spray cheese and jello shots.