No, this isn't one of those posts where I suddenly claim to have seen the light and proceed to tell everyone that the sky is falling and squawk around like a chicken. Not that I haven't done that before.

Man, I miss the '80s.

Where was I? Oh yes, waiting. As a freelance writer and a writer of novels, waiting is a way of life. Waiting for responses to queries. Waiting for requests for more. Waiting for the big yes or the big stinky no. Oh, and don't get me started on waiting for the editor's notes and requests for changes. Ugh. As disturbing as it sounds, waiting for that kind of stuff is even worse than the others.

But without the waiting, we really have nothing. Because unless you put yourself out there, whether by sending out a query letter or partial manuscript or article idea, there's no reason for people to get back to you. Ergo (sorry, I just had to use it somehow today), no waiting.

And, because I'm so used to wasting time while waiting, I try to find out the answers ahead of schedule by visiting different gurus:

The Mystical Smoking Head of Bob will answer your yes or no questions with a dash of attitude. If you feel that he's leading you on, feel free to ask him if he's pulling your leg.

The Orb of Augury is fairly straightforward. The "shake your orb" has never worked for me, though. Perhaps it was because I was listening to "Shake Your Groove Thing" at the time.

And, if you need a dose of Simon Cowell in your day, look no further than the Archie McPhee Sarcastic Ball. Sometimes it's all you need to shake things up.


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