You read it here first. Sure, I pick the day when everyone in the universe is reading Harry Potter (no spoilers please), but still, I'm very excited!

As of 6:45 p.m. today I completed the last offline edits of H&B, leaving just over a week to get all of these changes into a Word document before my self-imposed deadline of August 1, 2007. Stamp saved.

A huge heap of thanks must go to Michelle, who has threatened me with something I am actually fearful of if I let this deadline pass without getting this bloody manuscript done. It's so evil I can't put it into words, I'm escarded.

So, to signify this major step on the road to completing H&B, here's a song parody inspired by the image of Elvis that Amy posted on her blog a while back. She selected Love Me Tender as her song of choice, so I present...

On a Bender

On a bender
On the street
Feeling like a ‘ho
Those last 14 drinks were sweet
Now I’m outta dough

On a bender
Sad but true
Stomach contents spilled
Oh my darlin’ I’m confused
And I feel so ill

On a bender
Been so long
Liver’s torn apart
And my flugah* hurts so much
Wished I didn’t start

On a bender
Wine and beer
And some bad moonshine
Alcohol seeps through my tears
I don’t have a dime

(When sobriety hits you
Darling this I know
Memories may not ring true
But your friends will know)

* This term was used in a description my Amy, though it appears it can take the form of a verb, noun or facial expression depending on the way it's used.

Now I must dash off to rock the Word doc. I'll provide updates.

UPDATE: Have reached page 116 as of Sunday at 12:32 a.m.! Listening to Duran Duran's Rio over and over again is really helping me for some reason. It almost makes me forget that I'm missing The Police reunion concert this weekend. Le sigh. Now I will save the file and dance.