As I have not watched the past three shows, there is no need for a spoiler alert. A-hem...

Dear Lost,

Thank you for Season One and most of Season Two. Never before had a show hooked me so well before I even had a chance to figure out what the hell was going on. Unfortunately the "what the hell" part wore out its welcome sometime in the spring of 2006.

In all honesty, I loved the way we met the characters, made all kinds of crazy assumptions and then--WHAM--you did that cool back story thing and we learned that Locke was even freakier before the crash, Hurley was a cool dude with too much taco money and Sawyer was HOT.

You totally had me at the first wisps of black smoke. When you introduced the crazy French babe, I didn't mind. Then you killed off Boone and brought over the annoying Anna Lucia. The only thing that kept me going was the introduction to Eko and you kept on giving Sawyer reasons to take of his shirt.

When Ben was captured and all hell broke loose on way too many levels, that was mighty fine. I was at the edge of my seat, knowing that some answers would filter down through the great big flash of light in the sky.


Nope, you just had to keep on adding to an already overwhelming recipe, didn't you? You just had to suddenly add in 50 more characters who probably all have their own amazing back stories involving the Mickey Mouse Club, chinchillas and a psychic expo. That will take us into Season 17, I'm sure. It turned into a seven-layer dip gone horribly wrong.

But it's too late; I'm spent. Why? Because I really don't care anymore. Heck, I'm ready to go dig up those drug-filled religious figurines Charlie dropped into the ocean just to take my mind off of all the WTF action you guys have been feeding me since November.

The two-month break did little to rekindle the flames of hope. They were doused when Jack successfully removed the tumor from Ben's spine and he still couldn't get back to WTF island. You know, the one filled with happy couples and the band member Desmond believes is destined to die very soon despite his upcoming marriage in real life to the actress playing Kate, the rotten slimy slut.

But no more. I just can't take the addition of more questions without any satisfying answers. Did you notice that one word back there: I said satisfying. As in, this program is NO LONGER SATISFYING.

It blows.

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

Have a nice day,