Have I mentioned how educational public transit can be? Especially when Petunia* has a fully-charged cell phone?

"Hey! How ya doin'? It's been like, ages!"

Did I mention that Petunia is about 12 feet away? And all of us are now aware that she hasn't spoken to, we'll call her Hyacinth, in, like, ages.

"Yeah, I got a bit of a sunburn on my chest...oh no, I don't tan evenly
anymore. Ever since I got out of rehab my skin has been really pasty."

Note to Lindsay Lohan: rehab is bad for your skin tone.

"No, dumped him...the guy I'm with now, totally hot. He's 5'9", 5'9-1/2"..."

Either she can't remember or she's trying to calculate from metric.

"...and 105 pounds. I know, he weighs five more pounds than me! Can you
believe it?"

At this point I wonder if they hooked up in rehab. Or at a pasty skin convention.

"He's older. I don't waste my time on boys anymore."

I'm so glad to hear the girl has her priorities straight. Especially now that she needs to apply sunscreen when she heads for the beach with her skinny boyfriend. Hope she checks the wind conditions before they head out.

*not her real name. At least I don't think so.