I have a confession to make: I just love doing those personality quizzes. You know, the ones that tell you what type of travel works best for you or what type of coworker you are? I wonder if there’s one that people use to determine how psychotic a person is. That thought intrigued me so much that I wrote a little song about it:

How Psychotic R U?

I was feeling apathetic at the office
When a coworker emailed me a quiz
Titled "How Psychotic R U?"
I wonder what my personal level is

Let's say you ran over four chipmunks
Answer A if you arranged their last rites
Answer B if you cried like a baby
Or answer C if they were lip-smacking bites

Let's say you were responsible for disco
Answer A if you hustled the night away
Answer B if you boogied 'til your nose bled
Or answer C if you co-wrote YMCA

Chorus
It's A for simple paranoia
B, because your psyche's blue
Or C since you're so psychotic
All the worlds revolve around you

Let's say you released a fatal virus
Answer A if you worried your hair gray
Answer B if you're showing three symptoms
Or answer C if you accused the IRA

Let's say you murdered your supervisor
Answer A if you're hung up on the kill
Answer B if you're serving a sentence
Or answer C if you framed Dr. Phil

Chorus
It's A for simple paranoia
B, because your psyche's blue
Or C since you're so bipolar
All the worlds revolve around you