Kreskin Letter - part deux
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
BONNIE STARING, YOU HAVE A SPECIAL POWER. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW.
(This must be the really important part, I can tell because I have a special power.)
Yes, a special power... You have it. I know this about you even it you don't.
(Well I do, because Mom and Dad always said I was special.)
My desire is to see you "perform" (awkward) : to see you change your life, see you attain incredible material happiness and emotional happiness. I know I will.
(Question: does material happiness involve a velvet Elvis?)
Exciting things could start shaping up for you as early as the week after next concerning money and career matters. Also personal encounters, a relationship, possibly a reuniting with a friend or someone special. You'll see.
(Hang on, let me check the postmark. Shoot, according to Kreskin, this is all happening this week. I better get my nails done.)
How do I know all this? What's this all about?
(I'm sure he'll tell me.)
It's about special numbers. About personal numerological calculations.
(In other words, new math.)
And for sensitive reasons, I can't explain in the letter how exactly my "numbers" plug directly into the individual who lives at ***MY ADDRESS*** which I know to be you, Bonnie Staring... but they do plug in -
(Too bad the electricity's been cut off at our place. Our "numbers" just didn't work out for their accounting department.)
Believe me. Figures going through my head, numbers I've now attached to you, hold great interest to me: you're residing in Etobicoke, ON and living the life you do, your intimate "demographics".
(Yadda, yadda, yadda.)
YOU ARE UNIQUE BONNIE STARING. LET ME GET INTO THIS DEEPLY.
(As if this was all light-hearted before.)
Now do you see why I couldn't shred this letter? I finally have proof that I am a unique person - because Kreskin said so!
I'll get to the deeper stuff tomorrow...
(This must be the really important part, I can tell because I have a special power.)
Yes, a special power... You have it. I know this about you even it you don't.
(Well I do, because Mom and Dad always said I was special.)
My desire is to see you "perform" (awkward) : to see you change your life, see you attain incredible material happiness and emotional happiness. I know I will.
(Question: does material happiness involve a velvet Elvis?)
Exciting things could start shaping up for you as early as the week after next concerning money and career matters. Also personal encounters, a relationship, possibly a reuniting with a friend or someone special. You'll see.
(Hang on, let me check the postmark. Shoot, according to Kreskin, this is all happening this week. I better get my nails done.)
How do I know all this? What's this all about?
(I'm sure he'll tell me.)
It's about special numbers. About personal numerological calculations.
(In other words, new math.)
And for sensitive reasons, I can't explain in the letter how exactly my "numbers" plug directly into the individual who lives at ***MY ADDRESS*** which I know to be you, Bonnie Staring... but they do plug in -
(Too bad the electricity's been cut off at our place. Our "numbers" just didn't work out for their accounting department.)
Believe me. Figures going through my head, numbers I've now attached to you, hold great interest to me: you're residing in Etobicoke, ON and living the life you do, your intimate "demographics".
(Yadda, yadda, yadda.)
YOU ARE UNIQUE BONNIE STARING. LET ME GET INTO THIS DEEPLY.
(As if this was all light-hearted before.)
Now do you see why I couldn't shred this letter? I finally have proof that I am a unique person - because Kreskin said so!
I'll get to the deeper stuff tomorrow...
posted by Bonnie Staring at 1:00 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Bonnie: I got one of these letters too. Wonder why the amazing guy who can almost always find his paycheck is looking to me for cash. Looks like he's going through another period where he can't find his paycheck. Oh, and I just recently had my electricity turned off too. Now here's what I think: he's gotten together a list of everyone who hasn't paid their electric bill and sent out this letter, thinking we must be a desperate and dumb group. Oh, and of course he knows I am thinking this! Sincerely, Janis Kirstein janiskir@bellsouth.net. I am also a writer and an artist. Wonder what else everyone he sends this letter to has in common. What if we are paranormal. I know I am (really), just didn't accept all the invitions to be on TV.
Thanks for stopping by Janis! Letter recipients having some sort of common denominator, like both of us being struggling writers/starving artists, is an interesting theory.
While I've been paying the electric bill, at the time I was using a lot more coupons and was dealing with a bunch of clients who felt like paying me was about as important as learning to identify the gender of hamsters. There must be a connection somehow...perhaps it's the law of distraction at work. ;)
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