Life is like Contestant's Row
Thursday, August 24, 2006
First of all, if you've never seen an episode of The Price Is Right, you won't get this post. So come back tomorrow.
The older I get, the more I realize that life is like being on Contestant's Row. Some really want to be there, while others would rather be anywhere else (like the husbands who get forced to come along with their pricing-savvy wives).
Once you finally arrive on Contestant's Row, the first thing you want to do is get outta there ASAP. Isn't that what happens to all of us when we get to certain stages in our lives? We start saying things like "I can't wait until..." or make new to-do lists that never allow us to celebrate reaching our current position. Ah, just like on Contestant's Row - there's no rest for the wicked. And there are only a limited number of opportunities to get up on stage for the real game.
But while you're there, you soon discover that:
1. Being first isn't always the best
2. Others will learn from your example and use it against you (by bidding $1 higher)
3. Sometimes you have to determine the value of things you don't even want
4. Having people yell at you is completely normal
5. Listening to the others is essential
6. Wearing horizontal strips is way bad
7. Acting happy when the other guy gets on stage instead of you is encouraged, no matter how painful it gets
8. Helping to control the pet population is something that everyone can do
9. Spitballs aren't allowed
10. If and when you're selected to go onstage, do it fast so Bob doesn't have time to forget what to say next
I really should book my flight to Burbank before Mr. Barker retires...
The older I get, the more I realize that life is like being on Contestant's Row. Some really want to be there, while others would rather be anywhere else (like the husbands who get forced to come along with their pricing-savvy wives).
Once you finally arrive on Contestant's Row, the first thing you want to do is get outta there ASAP. Isn't that what happens to all of us when we get to certain stages in our lives? We start saying things like "I can't wait until..." or make new to-do lists that never allow us to celebrate reaching our current position. Ah, just like on Contestant's Row - there's no rest for the wicked. And there are only a limited number of opportunities to get up on stage for the real game.
But while you're there, you soon discover that:
1. Being first isn't always the best
2. Others will learn from your example and use it against you (by bidding $1 higher)
3. Sometimes you have to determine the value of things you don't even want
4. Having people yell at you is completely normal
5. Listening to the others is essential
6. Wearing horizontal strips is way bad
7. Acting happy when the other guy gets on stage instead of you is encouraged, no matter how painful it gets
8. Helping to control the pet population is something that everyone can do
9. Spitballs aren't allowed
10. If and when you're selected to go onstage, do it fast so Bob doesn't have time to forget what to say next
I really should book my flight to Burbank before Mr. Barker retires...
posted by Bonnie Staring at 2:19 PM
9 Comments:
I can't believe that show is still on. If I ever get the call and actually make it up on stage, I'm taking my own sweet time while I adjust my vertical stripes and taunting the other contestants by spitballing them because my $1 bid was the winner and then I'm introducing Bob to my horny cat that I let roam the streets every night with a pack of cigarettes, some whiskey, and a wallet full of singles.
I'll have to remember to buy a cat before I go on the show.
By the way, I never really knew I had a thing against Bob until just now. Maybe I should have somebody look into that.
LMAO! Wow Mike, you have some serious Bob Barker issues. Recovery may be possible by winning the showcase showdown. Just don't be the one outbidding me or we may have ourselves a problem. Especially if the next game up is for... A NEW CAR!
I think Bob would love the drinkin' smokin' cat though. Here's a name for him: Whiskey Sour.
Whiskey Sour...that's hysterical. You need to email Mr. Konrath a link to these comments.
Don't tempt me! Have you read any of his stuff? I may just have to pick up one of his books now that he's reached his "500 bookstores visited" goal.
I have one I'll lend you, Bonnie. :-)
Excellent, thanks Michelle. Hey, how do you feel about Bob Barker?
So do you want to really be there on the row? Or, would you rather be somewhere else?
I've read Konrath's first two books. I enjoyed them. Light easy reading...as long as you don't mind some fairly graphic violence.
I did a little review for both of them on my site if you're interested.
http://www.kalbzayn.com/serendipity/archives/195-Joe-Konrath-Whiskey-Sour-review.html
http://www.kalbzayn.com/serendipity/archives/245-JA-Konrath-Bloody-Mary.html
Thanks for the links Mike!
And I'm a definite Contestant's Row wannabe Nienke. I'd be the one with the "I'm crazy about Bob" T-shirt and the headband with dollar signs on it. ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home