There are some things most people don't want to see on television: childbirth, animals suffering and Bonnie doing ju jitsu.

This episode might suddenly get "taped over" by a repeat of I Know My Kid's a Brain Surgeon or Celebrity Plumber. I spent most of the show huddled behind the couch with the cat, asking the DH if it was over yet.

And no, none of that was played up for the camera. I really did have a hissy fit during the 3000-minute ju jitsu warmup. The instructor was freaking impossible to understand. And something really did snap during that one move between Mary and I.

What you didn't see on camera was that the ju jitsu studio was on the third floor of a building without an elevator. And that cute little restaurant we were sitting in? Add another flight of stairs there too.

I swear, the show was out to kill me. And I was this close to bailing on the whole adventure. Funny, when I remember why I decided to continue, it wasn't just one thing. It was a bunch of things:

Wanting to be able to fully participate
Wanting to belong
Wanting to fit into my skinny jeans
Not wanting to be seen as a quitter
And maybe, just maybe, wanting to prove all those negative thoughts in my head wrong.

And how come Mary got to eat ice cream with her nutritionist? Mine just kept on showing me plastic replicas of food! I thought it was cool the way they showed Magnolia running around downtown (in her high-heeled boots!) like she stole a pair of designer shoes or something. She didn't people; I'm kidding.

So if you ever want to know what I'm like when I get really frustrated, overwhelmed and basically have a total spaz attack, well, there you have it -- Episode 3 is all yours.