When I first heard about two vandals attacking Stonehenge with a hammer and screwdriver, a few things came to mind:

What had Stonehenge ever done to them?

Did Stonehenge fight back?

Then, when I read the news report, I discovered these gentlemen were merely souvenir shopping. Well, obviously the gift shop wasn't open, since it was the middle of the night.

A coin-sized hunk of rock was removed, leaving behind large scratches and a divot.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have a t-shirt or necklace than a hunk of rock, even if it is 5,000 years old. I mean, there are rocks all over the place. Some of them even have googly eyes stuck on them and serve as pets for those still lost in the 70s.

And, since only one hunk of rock was removed, how would the vandals share it? Would they each take turns holding the treasure? Or were they waiting for a bounty?

Aha! They're rock pirates! Traveling the world to take chunks out of it, one monument at a time.

The missing nose on Mt. Rushmore? Rock pirates. The Sphinx? Ditto. Wonder why the Leaning Tower of Pisa is leaning? The rock pirates got there too.

Of course, it wasn't the same two men who wreaked this havoc on all these monuments. The two come from a long line of rock pirates. You might say they're a chip off the old block. Hardy har har.

Now if only stoning was still legal in Britain -- that would be an appropriate punishment for those two. Arg!

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