Sorry for the lack of postage. It's been an icky, whiny few days. You know, the ones where it's best not to say anything?

Okay, I've had "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavine in my head all day, so you guys must pay the price.

Rear End

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like my rear end
No way! No way!
I think I need some new buns
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could lose my rear end

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I was once a size three
No way! No way!
Tho’ it’s not accurate
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to lose my rear end

Duncan Hines
Those cakes are mine
They’re so delicious
I think about them all the time
Like it’s addictive
Don’t you know that chocolate is why my pants are so tight?
I pretend like I’m Gollum with his precious
And hell yeah
I’m the chocolate fountain princess
I can tell I should work out and you know I’m right

Size two’s so whatever
Fourteen is so much better
I think we should eat some cake right now
And then we’ll let everything hang right out

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like my rear end
No way! No way!
I think I need some new buns
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could lose my rear end

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I was once a size three
No way! No way!
Tho’ it’s not accurate
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to lose my rear end

I can see the way, see the way you look at me
Even when you look away my butt's in your periphery
I buy bigger pants on sale all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make my rear end disappear
I don’t want to see those jiggly buns ever again
(And again and again and again)

Size two’s so whatever
Fourteen is so much better
I think we should eat some cake right now
And then we’ll let everything hang right out

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like my rear end
No way! No way!
I think I need some new buns
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could lose my rear end

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I was once a size three
No way! No way!
Tho’ it’s not accurate
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to lose my rear end

In a second carbs are wrapped around my kidneys
Cause I ate, cause I ate forty Twinkies
There’s no room left
What am I gonna fit in?
I’m so hungry
What the hell was I thinking?

Have a great night.

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